Hey Fattie

This is my first night back in Central City, and if you can't tell, I can't sleep. God Dammit.

On my way here from OKC, I gave a friend of mine from law school who lives in a town right on my way a ride back. He doesn't have a car, and I am fortunate to, so I figured I could handle having somebody to talk to while driving, even if I had to talk to his fucked up shit.

He too has decided to do some dieting, although unlike me, he really doesn't need to drop that much weight. Anyway, we were discussing dieting and the tactics towards losing weight. We stopped at Sonic to eat. He orders a grilled wrap without dressing, and fatass here orders fried popcorn chicken and tots. What the hell am I doing? I guess I can say that was one of my last "fattie" meals I hope to have in the next two years. I need to start now.

Since I wrote about this last, I have been careful about what I ate, but I didn't pay enough attention. I didn't exercise because of finals, but that shouldn't be an excuse. Hopefully over the break I will be able to buckle down and get into the habit of my new lifestyle. I have plans of going to the fitness center here in Central City everyday, and eating healthier foods.

For the most part, being fat is so easy. You eat what you want. You don't exercise. You really have few cares when it comes down to what you do to your body. It's also easy because it is convenient. Instead of getting up at 7am to exercise, you get to sleep 'til 9am. Instead of grilling a chicken breast and waiting 30 minutes, you go buy two double cheeseburgers and a large fry. But because of that carefreeness, you suffer some consequences. You endure the comments from the little kids who don't "know any better" (yet they are just being honest...they actually are doing what is right, rather than what is "socially right"), the shocked looks from the people interviewing you for a job (and avoiding hiring you), and blank stares from the people interviewing you to be their husband (and avoiding doing you). You worry about your pants being too tight, about your fatass breaking the chair your are sitting in, and about taking up half of a backseat of a car when you only should be taking up a third of it.

It's time to start worrying about what I put into my mouth and what I do with my body so I don't have worry about being being judged because I am a slob.

It's going to have to become a new lifestyle. It has to be. I can't drop 150 lbs. and then quit doing what I was doing. Yeah, I may be able to eat more things, but if I don't stick to the changes, I'm going to grow back to be the fattie I am now, or never even reach my goal. It's simply a whole new lifestyle. There will be bumps along the way. Their will be peaks and valleys. But in the end, it will not matter. 150.