What being fat means to me.

It means:
-I am very prone to break chairs and other furniture.
-I have to worry about traveling in airplanes--will I fit in the seat? will the seatbelt fit?.
-I don't even think about going on amusement park rides.
-I get hot, when it is 70 degrees.
-I sweat profusely when I get hot.
-I sometimes have to order clothes online.
-I have to spend more on clothes usually.
-I don't take off my shirt because my body is gross, so I don't swim or go hot tubbing.
-I have to pay a lot for groceries.
-I know people stare at me and can't believe it.

These are just some of the things that being fat means to mean. I don't know why I have put up with this shit for so long. I am ready for this change.

Off the Wagon

So, I'm off the wagon. I have been almost this whole week. I've been eating healthy foods, just large quantities of them. I don't know what caused this, but if I had to guess, I would suppose it would be the stress of the brief being due and the going home and all that. Who knows.

If I want to be successful, I need to quit this. I can. I will.

On a more positive note, a year ago, when I had not become committed to become a healthier and better person, I would have been completely gone off the wagon. I would have been eating McDonald's and ordering pizza. I was tempted to this weekend. I had acutually picked out what pizza I was going to order, but I resisted. I didn't want to mess this up. Although it seems like a small sacrifice, it really was a huge step toward succeeding at my goal. I'm not going to be deterred. And if I am going to binge, it's going to be on healthy food. That has to be better.

Tomorrow, I start exercising. I'm going to go to the gym, or I am simply going to walk. It all depends on when I wake up. But I am going to do it. That is the most important thing, and it should help things out.

150 pounds is still my goal. I can really do this. I've reached a pothole in the road, but I refuse to let it become a cliff that I just jump off of. I'm going to keep going. It will get me a tattoo, but it will also get me a better life. I can picture it now and I am excited.

Almost like a roller coaster

After Steve's party and the Super Bowl, I whopped on about 5-10 pounds. I ate everything I saw. This week, I have been pretty good and making sure I stay right at my points, and as of this morning, I had lost 15 pounds, for a total of 25 pounds from when I started. This is progress.

Once I get done with my brief and get back from Omaha, I'm going to really focus on an exercise program. This will be the best medicine to curing my disease.

On a side note, I think if I get into good shape, I'm going to get a tattoo. I don't know what of or where, but I think I'm going to get one. Why? I don't know. I just never have done something like that before, and if I am living a new life, maybe I can do that too. That's probably about a year away, so I might change my mind. Who the hell knows...

Thanks for everyone's support and keep filling me full of ideas.

New Problem

I've gotten really used to Weight Watchers. I really like the program. I have a problem though. I'm giving myself too many "cheat" days. I splurged for Steve's suprise party, I will splurge tomorrow for the Super Bowl, and I splurged last weekend for the High Ideals weekend and the great hotel breakfast buffet. It's messed up. I bust my butt all day trying to be good and then ruin it with one meal. I need to quit doing that. If I'm going to be successful, I have to be on this diet 24/7 (with maybe a cheat day every once in a while rather than every weekend).