Today was hard. Very hard. At the same time, I realized how much I depend on food because of today. Work was difficult today. Things are not happening like I was promised they would. For the second time in six months, I've basically been ignored as an employee, yet am still expected to do the work of a professional. So, long story short, I had a horrible day at work.
Normally, when I am angry, upset, frustrated, hurt, or any other negative feeling, I eat. I think that to some extent, that's why I look the way I do today. Eating food made me feel better. That's why today was so tough. I needed something to make me feel good, and I couldn't use food. I couldn't. This weight loss goal is more important to my livelihood. I have to find something else to use to deal with these emotions. That will be something else for me to do, but I have to do it. I know many people don't read this, but if you do, and you have anything good, let me know what you do.
But, on another front. I weighed in today, and I am down 10 pounds. I'm pleased with that. Very pleased.
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my story on my struggle to change my life
For those of you reading this, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I truly and sincerely hope that is true. I am extremely overweight. It's time to get rid of that weight. It's unhealthy, it's expensive, and it is unsightly to me and to you. I have set a lofty lofty goal for myself. I want to lose 150 pounds over the next two years. Yeah, that's right. One hundred and fifty pounds. It is possible, and even if I lose that much, there will still be a substantial part of me.
For those of you who get uncomfortable about talking about weight issues, you maybe shouldn't stay here too long. I'm probably going to be really hard on myself at times and say things about myself that could make you feel uncomfortable. Please don't respond and tell me the things I'm saying aren't true. I'm going to use this space to motivate myself and therapize myself. If you have motivating words to say, or want to give funny reactions, or if you want to cuss me out, go ahead. Just don't tell me the things I'm saying are mean to myself. I'm now at my high (low, really) point, and it is time to make a change.It is time to start over.It was really easy putting the weight on. It's going to be a monumental challenge taking it off. This will be the Mount Everest of my life. It's time to prepare and focus on this goal.
I will succeed.
1 comment:
Running can take your mind off of anything else going on because when you are there on the treadmill all your focus is on running. Use the frustration to fuel your goal.
(Clearly this is another plug for 6am Colvin trips...)
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